I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
