Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
