I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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