this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
