Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Randomize