what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
