honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
