On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Text me some of your sweat
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
