It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
