Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize
