I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Randomize
