and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
