just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
