just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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