well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
