Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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