I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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