Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
