Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
