and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
