i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
