Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
