Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
