well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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