Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
