I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
