Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Randomize
