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• (816): View more from Missouri

  They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives

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• (575): View more from New Mexico

  you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.

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• (801): View more from Utah

  I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.

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• (701): View more from North Dakota

  He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.

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• (310): View more from California

  Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?

  (626): View more from California

  That's two questions.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  It was like giving head to a cactus.

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.

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• (207): View more from Maine

  So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.

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• (864): View more from South Carolina

  Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.

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• (718): View more from New York

  You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.

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• (516): View more from New York

  I am a bad person

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  You slept with him. Was it good?

  (516): View more from New York

  I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress

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• (360): View more from Washington

  you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations

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