Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
