Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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