And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Randomize
