p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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