I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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