It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
