Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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