hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
