Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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