you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
