nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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