you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
