the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
