My first STD was from a foam party
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Randomize
