Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
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