pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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