Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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