we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
