This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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