DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
