Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
