I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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