the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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