I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
