I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
