She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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