I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize