i need an iv and a liver transplant
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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