dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I skipped work to stalk him.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
