it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize