im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
