I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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