Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
