Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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