oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
