Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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