Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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