Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Randomize
