Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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