Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
