Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
