It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize