I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Four minutes until I can fart!
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
