god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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