you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Randomize
