Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
