I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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