she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
