That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
