i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
