Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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