When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
